What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man goes to the potty.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, 32!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

thumb_up thumb_down -17

We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops