Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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What's black and white and red all over? An equality parade with a nearby homicide

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What's sadder then a dead puppy? 2 dead puppies.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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Whats better at driving? A pig or a chicken. Neither because they are animals and it is impossible for the to even posses the power of controlling a moving vehicle.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops