Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

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Kerry Katona becomes independent.

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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the NAACP

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops