What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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