A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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