- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Justin's life

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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