The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Asians...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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