how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

thumb_up thumb_down +66

When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What's worse then finding out that your partner has AIDS? I don't know actually, but finding out would suck pretty bad...

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

In Soviet Russia its very cold

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

why did the black man drown? he cant swim

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops