What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops