Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Justin's life

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops