A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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