Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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