What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Gay rights

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69.... is a number

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guess what?

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

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what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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