What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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666

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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