Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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pussy enough said

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Yo Mamma

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Knock knock, come in.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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