A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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