What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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kk

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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What does a cow do at McDonald's? He is eaten by obese people.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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