What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Roses are red Violets are baskets This joke makes no sence... ... boobs

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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a disabled man takes a walk in a park

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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