Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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knock knock

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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like most people my age. im 27

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops