A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Raveena Thandhan

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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knock knock

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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