Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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Poop.

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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