Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +62

You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

thumb_up thumb_down +32

a man walks into a bar and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops