What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Knock knock

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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