What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Three blind mice. See how they run. Into things.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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CAVE JOHNSON.

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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Your moma's so fat, she has a considerable list of medical health problems, and she is very miserable.

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Sorry, I need to take care of business up here, it is for the best that we do not communicate for a while, suspicions are going to be flaring up all over the place You better keep your head low, the place with the code-name "The Kings Throne" was under attack, but as you might know, its not what it used to be, you should all leave Point Zero in 3-4 hours when the dust has settled. Personally I suspect it is someone from the past, yes rivals, but according to the information nobody that knows who "The Nero" is, so as you can already tell, you and I are in equal danger until this is resolved. I promise to call you someday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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