your mom

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Yah? Well your a ********

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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My nipple is bleeding

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops