What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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