How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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