I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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