Why did the baby die? It got shot.

Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

Animal

A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

A baby seal walks into a club.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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