A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

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There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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