Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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woman's rights

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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2001, 2 airplains fly into the world trait centers. the pilots then had their licences taken away.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops