Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

purple pickles

A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

Pickles are moist.

Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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