A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What's worse than an ice cream cone falling over? The Holocaust. What's worse than that? Two ice cream cones falling over.

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what happens on labor day? the day she has a baby... ya your having a kid

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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Michael Brown

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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