how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walked in a bar and asked for 10 shots. (not descriptively) The bar tender got his gun out and shot the man 10 times. Another man asked for three stabs at it. The bar tender stabbed him 3 times. The last man asked for a bomb load. The bar tender gave him 100's of granades. Then the man bombed down the bar with the bar tender inside

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Who is the Greek god of STDS? Herpies

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

thumb_up thumb_down -24

man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

thumb_up thumb_down -24

1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops