A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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