What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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girls basketball

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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