Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Obama

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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