Q:Who has the highest K/D ratio in Call of Duty World at War A: Hitler, 6000000/1

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

Why did the baby die? It got shot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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