How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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Q. Why hasn't LeBron won a ring? A. Throughout his career, he has been placed with incapable teammates, thus leading to unsuccessful results. However, recently, he has been placed with individuals valid pod achieving such a goal.

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95556

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Libraries.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Animal

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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