how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

What's worse than a broke pencil TWO broken pencilz

if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

What is the name of the car? What

What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

whats the difference between a chicken and a rooster. a rooster has a dick

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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