Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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LOL

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Black people don't exist. Their skin is rather of a brown tone.

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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