Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Your mother is so fat.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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Yo Mamma

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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minorities

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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