What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy s***

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

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What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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Women's rights

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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