What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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Pickles are moist.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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