What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you left him

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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penis in the camel

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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Justin Bieber

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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