What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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