whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

A blind man walks into the door of a bar

Why did the baby die? It got shot.

( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

I'm funny.

Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

The white guy did it!

Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

i have cancer

A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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