What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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I'm funny.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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The white guy did it!

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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i have cancer

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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I like turtoes.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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