A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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my names jim haha

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A black man without problems.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Alan: My Grandfather has a jacket made from jews that he killed while he was in the SS. James: Really? Alan: No, I'm Korean. My Grandfather would not be allowing into the SS.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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minorities

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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