"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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Womens Basketball.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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66

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wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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I'm funny.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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The white guy did it!

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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