Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Have you seen Jamal's socks?

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Women's rights

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

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What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

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"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

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A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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What do you call a sheep? something to have sex with.

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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hi dave

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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