Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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Dude man, I'm high...

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Justin's life

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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