A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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Albert your flies undone.

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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Knock knock.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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