Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mother is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock. no one's home..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops