What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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Poop.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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