Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

a man walks into a bar and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Where does a hobo live? A box.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A fairly-priced Apple computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

i like pie

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock. no one's home..

thumb_up thumb_down

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

thumb_up thumb_down

A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's 1+1? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops