whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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No soup for you!

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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I like touching my boobs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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